Random thoughts from a one track mind

An update

And follow on...

The presents that were so bitched about?

He loved them. :-)

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 4:11 PM 0 comments

She's still bitching

Just had to share....she's still bitching about the Christmas presents.
*sigh*

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 2:41 PM 0 comments

Funk off

I've got to figure out a way to loose this funk I'm in these days. I'm not even sure where the heck it's come from. Is it the holidays? Maybe. Is it the stress at work? Could be. Is it that I don't see her as much as I want to? Most probably. Perhaps it's a combination of all that and more, I just don't know. Doesn't help that the weather sucks too. That never helps.

Okay, buck up little camper. Dust off those blahs, put 'em up on ebay and send them to some worthy recipient. Sender even pays shipping. Maybe if I get some time over the holiday to actually write and get this idea out of my head....maybe that'll help. I can feel the pressure of it building up.

On the whole I think I just need to funk off.

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 11:17 AM 0 comments

When every day is a holiday....

Talking with S tonight after she bitched me out for spending too much on A's presents this Christmas. Apparently even though my dad is buying these particular presents, I'm still not supposed to spend the money on him. So we got to talking and I explained how I was tired in my soul from all the running around of late. She didn't get it. She said "but you don't need to, not for me" (at least for Christmas, right?).

She's right though--I didn't for her, but I did for A and I. I want a Christmas. I want a tree and presents for him and a special dinner. Isn't it important that he learn that part of his culture? Isn't it important to have special days that you celebrate friends and family and do special things? Her first reaction was to cancel everything! S told me that for her, so long as you're happy "every day is like a holiday".

So what is it when you're not?

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 8:34 PM 0 comments

What would your tag say?

Here's Pig's tag

Here's what I think mine might say....

Feed regularly
Hold occasionally
Discuss with on any and all topics
Let alone to read
Don't force your opinions on
Smile

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 10:09 AM 0 comments

What do you want from me?

So what's the deal? I don't get it. For how long now have you ignored me, ignored anything I've asked, forgotten or negelected or just down right didn't care about anything to do with me. But now, now you've suddenly taken an interest? Now you've decided that it's time to leap on anything I say and make phone calls and search the net and scour the world for information? And even then you don't do a good job of it since you never bothered to listen to what I had to say in the first place.

Where is this coming from, all of a sudden, out of the blue? I don't get it. I have two immediate reactions. The first is to wonder what you want. If you're acting this way it's for a reason. You never do anything for anyone else without a reason. What do you think you're going to get? Something, that's for sure.

The second reaction is that I know it's temporary anyway. It's not going to last, so there's no point in getting worked up about it, either for good or for bad. I know that's probably a fatalistic view, thinking that you could never change, that you could never really mean it, but I've been fooled enough times (by you, by others) that I'm tired of getting taken in. Sorry, but I just don't trust you.

It seems like the one lesson I'm here to learn is to not trust anyone. But when I asked, I was told, no, that's not quite right. That I have to learn to "trust wisely". Hmmmm, trust wisely eh? Now I have to figure out what the hell that means....

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 8:45 AM 0 comments

Tears, for what?

I hate this feeling.

I wanna cry and there's absolutly no reason. I mean, there's nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that I would expect to bring this on....but yet here I sit, feeling that heavy feeling, wanting nothing more than to bawl like my 18 month old son.

Does it mean that a doozy migraine is on the way? Well, based on how many corrections I've made to this entry by now, I'm thinking it might be. That and the pain starting up in the side of my head, that's a bit more of a giveaway. But maybe that's just from keeping it bottled up and not letting it out. Only time'll tell I guess. If I even knew why it'd help, but I don't.

But I still hate this feeling.

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 8:35 PM 0 comments