Random thoughts from a one track mind

Live in the present.

That's a tough thing to do. At least for me anyway.

I always used to live in the past. Why didn't *that* happen? *This* would have made such a difference. But since that revelation about She, and what we share, I've been over that. I've gone past the past, as it were.

But now my thougths turn more and more to the future.

Could, for example, She and I have found each other, made such a profound impact upon each other, but yet be destined to stay apart for the rest of our lives? Surely not, says I. Surely we're destined to be together someday, aren't we?

Well, I had a though on that score. I am a firm believer in past lives and reincarnation. Not only that, but I am of the school that says that between lives, you plot out what you want to happen in the next one. Certain way points along the path that you'll meet in your efforts to learn the things you need to learn. Kinda pre-destination lite. She believes in pretty much the same thing.

That being said, I think that what this means is that we've set everything out. I think it's all set up. I think that we will be together someday, because I think that's what we laid out before either of us was even born. So now, my mind is forever turning that way: So *when* will this happen? *How* will it come about? I'm terrible.

I just get past one and get caught up in another. I have to learn to live in the here and now, and that's the trick.

How much do I love life? 7

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 1:50 PM 0 comments

How much do you love your life?

Last night (well yesterday in general) I was having a pretty good day, and then I hit that question. It's a good one. I went from "well, sure it's okay, but do I really love it?" to "what is love of life anyway?". I eventually worked out a scale.

0 - I wish I'd never been born.
1 - Put a pillow over my face and get it over with
...
3 - It's okay, but I've *got* to make some changes
...
6 - It's generally better than worse.
...
8 - I think there are some general changes I'd like to make but other than that, smooth sailing!
9 - I'm happier that a clam at high tide.
10 - I'd carve out an eye just to keep breathing.

So I figured out I was at about a 6 myself yesterday, mabye even a 7. Then I got home and got ambushed by the wife. I dropped to a 0 so fast it would make your head spin! Even today I'm still only at a 2 or a 3. Add to this the fact that I've got another migraine....I have a feeling this sliding scale will come in very handy!

On other news, I had a realization on the bus yesterday. She is the only person I've ever met who I can fall in love with (and I mean mad passionate obsessive love) over and over again on a regular basis. I'm on my second wife here and a few girlfriends, and never before have I expeienced this. I've heard it's not even possible. But it is....

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 10:55 AM 0 comments

Status....migraine. Woke up with a real bugger this morning and it's hung on all day too. Yaay. I have a feeling it's going to keep lasting too, like into tomorrow and even the next day. *sigh* But I content myself that I'm not as bad as my best friend, who regularly runs 10+ migraines in her cute little head. I don't know if I could deal with that.

Had an interesting dream last night. She, the one who I truely love, handed me a box of crystals. She's big into crystals. Well, turns out that the crystals she handed me are good for healing, delving into past lives (which I've dwelt on a lot lately) and also issues of love. The whole thing really adds up to a divinitory meaning of "wait, take time, learn lessons and it will come, enduring love will last".

It all adds up in my mind to the answer to a question I've been asking myself a lot lately. Could we, She and I, have been brought back together in this life only to be kept apart? I like to think no, but I've not been sure. Until now. Now I have this dream, and it answers my questions for me. Perhaps it just wish fulfillment, but how could I dream things that I don't know about? I'm good, but I'm not that good. It gives me some peace and contentment to know this.

I followed it on with a "crystal tarot" reading...and the result was basically the same thing! I think I'm being given a message here. I'll take that and go with it, I think.

And I've been lucky enough to have been paid large and wonderful compliments by Her lately. They make me happier than I can say, more than I ever would have imagined they could. So I guess you could say, dispite my migraine, I'm still happy.

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 4:24 PM 0 comments

I'm an Angel! LOL


Incarnated Angel

An exquisite spiritual being you are. The world is
starved of love and kindness, and it turns
forlornly on a rusty axel forged by man's
treachery and greed. Your assignment here on
Earth is to teach the values of true,
unconditional love and to reach out to those
with no-one else to turn to. Your heart is
immeasurable in its compassion and pain for the
human race. Everywhere you see death and
poverty, evil and despair, and your Angel heart
feels at the point of breaking. You're so
willing to love and blossom in the love of
another, but beware. There are those who will
wrecklessly play with your fragile emotions and
take advantage of you. Don't let them. Surround
yourself with people you know you can
completely trust, and let your inner light
shine.


Which Earth Angel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by HPL (eh pea ell) @ 9:56 AM 0 comments