Wishes and dreams
When I got up this morning, I really had a feeling of impending fate. Nothing that lept at me, nothing that said "today you'll meet your maker" or anything so dramatic as that. More like someone close to me having a turning point and their fate would encompass mine and there was sweet bugger all I could do about it.At the time I realized that if there was nothing I could do, well then just go with it. I mean, what other choice did I have? Go with it willingly or go with it kicking and clawing the whole way. I'm too tired these days to kick and claw. So I got my hat and let it take me downtown.
I got into the car, to drive S to her interview, and as I was accellerating down to the highway, they started playing Alanis. It was the one about "you dig everything, all my light, all my dark" -- that one. The one that only ever makes me think of E. I haven't heard that one in months. But there it was. And when I pulled off the highway and slowed down again, the song playing was "Home". Another E song. One that follows us wherever we go. And here it was like the two had blended, one into the other.
Then I got to see E. I loitered outside her french class, like it was university and I was skipping History to see her. I wanted to take her something, bring her a hot chocolate, something, but there wasn't really an option for that. No way to sneak it in. We talked, wandered around a bit, I deposited her back in class. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I can't describe how just looking at her makes me feel. I could stare into those eyes for a week and not blink.
I sat in her office after, and just reveled in being there, being near her, in her environment, in her world. I know, silly, but I loved it just the same. It was like I was absorbing the waves her space gives off. Pickin' up good vibrations, as the Beach Boys say.
So I left the building, and was getting into the car to drive back out here. So what song is on the radio then? Kalen Porter, "Lost in a Dream" I think it's called. Another one that only brings thoughts of E to my mind. And another one I've not heard in months.
So what is the message? What do I take from the feeling of fate, and the songs of the one I love? I take it as a good omen. I don't know what it means for sure, but I'll trust in a benevolent future, and let fate make those choices it needs to in order for me to get there.
A final thought. Phil said today ""When you wish upon a star / It makes no difference who you are / Anything your heart desires will come to you." This famous verse from Pinocchio nicely encapsulates the effect of Venus's alignment.". I wished tonight. Star light/star bright/first star I saw tonight. I made my wish for my heart's desires to come true. For stars and fate and luck and love to take me Home.
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