Perspectives
About a week ago, my horoscopes in the Star said that basically all would be well for me, once I found "a new perspective" on things. I think I finally have found that new perspective.I've been fighting this whole staying home thing. I've been battling it and determined not to enjoy it in the slightest. But that was exactly the wrong attitude to have. I realized that what I needed to do was to shift my vantage point, and rather than think of all the good stuff that I'm missing (seeing you daily, going to lunch with you daily, having a challenging mental day, seeing you daily, etc) I should really look at the whole picture of what I'm missing.
C is being an absolute nut-job. She's driving you crazy, and sounds headed to the loony bin. If I'd stayed I'd be on the stats job, and probably working downtown a lot, so I wouldn't get to see you anyway. I am still getting to see you, and email with you and talk on the phone, so it's not exactly China, it's just not all day every day like it was. It's been colder than a Saskatchewan Christmas out there, with winds that would make Dorothy feel at home; and if there's one thing that I really really really hate about winter, it's the wind.
And then on the other side, I've found a nanny lady here who is like a dream and who loves little I and he loves her, so that when I do need to escape for my sanity, I can, and I know he's in good hands. And now just the other day the neighbour, M, who's home alone since her little one is in school and she's still waiting delivery of the second from Asia, called to say "hey if you're bored just come on over, have a coffee and a chat, and if you need to run out, I can look after I for you for an hour or two too...."
I'm supposed to, well, if not enjoy what I'm doing, I am supposed to at the least not lothe it entirely. And the key thing is that just today, just this afternoon, I think I worked out (possibly) why. I don't think I'll go into details about that part, the whole superstition of saying it jinxs it and all that rot, but I think I have an idea, one that makes sense and feels right. So I'll stick with it, and try to work with this new perspective. Of it all, it's you I miss the most, but I know that this is a step I need to be doing, so that our paths may eventually converge. Doesn't mean I have to like that either, but going around angry all the time isn't getting me anywhere either.
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